Have you told your money what you truly think of her? It can be ugly.

Me, Sylvie and Roksana getting real with our money at the Big Shift

A few months ago, my colleague Bill Baren (hi Bill!) asked 400 very conscious business owners to pair up and do just that at his event, the Big Shift Experience. Turn by turn, we each had two minutes to tell our partner exactly how we feel about our own Money.

The kicker? Your Money (played by our partner) then told you how she feels about you.

There was a lot of emotion in that room for those four minutes; a lot of fear, tears, passion and some laughter. In a roomful of business people, it seemed everyone had some kind of hang-up about their relationship to money.

At home, the money thing can be taboo for many of us. It can be even more taboo than sex for many couples. How often do you talk about your money in a constructive way? Do you see money as a friend or foe? WTF does Money embody for you?

When I spoke to Money, here’s what I said:

“Money, I know you’re there when I need you. I’m free with you and happy to know you’re around. I don’t worry about you.”

{So far so good, right? Just wait…}

“Money, when I was little you caused a lot of stress in my family. My parents lied and bickered over you.”

{sobs}

“Money, you’re the reason my parents divorced before I could talk. You’re the reason my parents couldn’t stay together, even if I was just a little 2-year old, because you weren’t there for them.”

“Money, you made my parents lie and hate each other for a long time.”

{Things are better now, thankfully!}

“Money, you’re the reason I got bullied at school because we didn’t have the means to get me garb that would help me fit in.”

{True story — Lots of crying now}

“Money, you haven’t been a friend in my life.”

I know, right?

I have done years of personal development, journaling, NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and even therapy around my upbringing and parents’ divorce, etc. and not once has any of this come up. For years, I had subconsciously blamed Money for all kinds of hardship, and that was a reason I was never at peace with my own cash. This was a true revelation to me!

It gets even better when Money then speaks back in part two of this exercise. Here’s what Money told me, through my partner:

“Anne-Sophie, you’re confused about me. In one sentence you say you love me and know I’m there and the next you blame me for the hardship you had growing up and your parents’ divorce. You say that you want me in your life, yet you push me away and tell me you hate me because of what I did.”

“I’m happy to show up for you, but you have to be clear about your feelings for me. Do you love me? Or do you hate me? I’m not a person and I haven’t done anything. It’s only the people in your life who have used me in certain ways.”

“Be clear with me and I’ll be there for you.”

Dude. Seriously? Yes, this really happened! My good friend Sylvie of Collage Interiors was right next to me and like everyone else who actually did this, she also had a transformational revelation about her relationship with money. Since then, her Calgary-based business has taken flight thanks to a lot of newfound clarity about her own money story. So what?

The truth is that most of us NEVER talk about money. It’s a taboo that if we never face will haunt us for a long time.

More than half of relationships end due to financial stresses and disagreements,” says Megan Lathrop, the Finanseer.

According to my friend and colleague Megan Lanthrop, the one and only ‘Finanseer’ (clever name, right?), “More than ½ of relationships end due to financial stresses and disagreements.” And often, it’s because people have zero idea what their money story is, because they’re afraid to ask and look at it at all.

If you’re ready to get cleared up about your money, I highly recommend you do this money exercise.

Skeptical? I repeated this money role play exercise with another friend and like me, she quickly got clarity on why her own Money Story was holding her back from finding the right man for her and letting love in her life. 100% true story.

Sometimes it’s hard to see the truth. Especially our own. This exercise was one of those Truth Busting exercises that brought so much clarity to a roomful of pretty awesome and aware people. Go role play Money tonight and report back in the comments on what you uncovered (a goldmine, I hope!).

Money Role Playing Exercise

· Sit down with a friend or family member and take turns role-playing Money.

· With one person playing Money, tell Money how you feel about him or her. Clock it to 2 minutes only.

· Don’t be shy! Why do you feel the way you do about Money? What life experiences have made you feel the way you do?

· Once your feelings are out in the open, it’s Money’s turn to respond for up to 2 minutes.

· Once one person has played the role of Money, switch roles.

· Discuss what each one of you has learned from your discussion with Money.

· Share what you learned in the comments below!

Just remember:

Money is not evil. Money is not good. Money is energy. Money is love.
Money is what you make it. She’s here to support us in creating, giving and getting what we deeply desire.

What’s YOUR money story?

RESOURCES:

Want to Love your money?

I have two recommended Resources:

1) the Finanseer: Megan Lathrop

Megan coaches individuals and couples to have a more intimate, meaningful and fruitful relationship with money. Check her out, she’s fun and fabulous!

2) New book: Money: A Love Story: Kate Northrup (use Amazon affiliate link)
Amazon: Paperback and Kindle (Buy it from Amazon before september 24, 2013, go to Money: A Love Story to grab your free seat on live training
with Kate.)

Digital from iTunes (audiobook, for iPad, etc.)

I’m now reading this book and LOVE it! Go get it 🙂

 

 

MORE ARTICLES TO INSPIRE YOU TO GET UNSTUCK AND GET YOUR GROOVE ON:

Why a Good Wedgie can Change Your Life… Especially if You’re a Parent Who’s Feeling Stuck.

Wedgie to Edgy: Why Getting Uncomfortable Makes You Grow

Raising Gratitude: How to Teach Kids to Love Life More By Having Less Stuff

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