Life on ‘overwhelm’ sucks, and yet we’re so damn good at it, especially as parents. It’s an epidemic that sucks up time, energy, money, and so much more. The heartbreaking thing is that as parents, we all-too-often model Life-on-Overwhelm for our kids (Someone even made a “Super Mom Action Figure” to describe the problem. Really?! ).

Our sociely is so hooked on Overwhelm & Overdrive that even kids get to lay with a Super Mom action figure. There's nothing super about teaching kids this is OK.

Our sociely is so hooked on Overwhelm & Overdrive that even kids get to lay with a Super Mom action figure. There’s nothing super about teaching kids this is OK.

For a while, I was hooked-on O. Overwhelm, that is. 

I was an epic starter of new things. Always running fast and furiously to do, see or buy many important things, but all this over-planning, over-starting, over-dreaming and overdoing, only created an overabundance of unfinished projects and ideas, overwhelming me with useless stuff and plans that cluttered my life. With the bar set so high on so many things, how could I ever complete any of the things I “should” do? 

Think about it: You’ve been there, too. “We should take that trip; We should register the kids in X; We should call Z to plan Y; We should finish this reno; You should do that craft project; You should write your Ma.” You know the drill.  The result? This:

In this desire to do-it-all AND to achieve a ridiculous level perfection (an impossible task), we get trapped in our own overzealous ambitions, projects and lofty goals and fail to create the life we want or raise our kids the way we want

Ultimately, we lose money, time, energy and Freedom (capital F). When we get to this point as parents we’re not only failing ourselves, we’re failing our kids because we’re modelling stress, not freedom. That’s when we can feel Frazzled, Fearful and well,  Frankly Fucked (capital Fs all ’round). 

As a mama, it’s crucially important for me to raise kids who grow up with fully sprouted inner-seeds of personal freedom. As I’m sure it is for you and an army of other parents.

So, how can we raise kids to have built-in freedom? Here’s my recommended method:

1. CHOOSE & DEFINE YOUR FREEDOM

FreedomStarts

Freedom Start with the Choice to Be Free! {Tweet this}

For me, my quantum leap into personal freedom meant quitting a job to pursue my mission in life (this is me doing it right now!). But it doesn’t have to be that drastic — it can just be a choice that helps you move more into your life’s leading role, whatever that may be, so you can love more hours in your day.

2.  COMMIT TO BEING YOUR FREEDOM, TODAY AND FOREVER:

It’s all too easy to get excited about something new and then drop it (see above about unfinished projects). It’s the same about choosing freedom: you have to make a commitment that will stick longer than a New Year’s resolution. How many of us have bought a gym membership that just ended up burning a hole in our pocket while we didn’t find the time to go?

So, how the hell do you commit to being your freedom? You commit, but not alone. To make sure things stick, choose something big that will trigger a bunch of awesome things for you.

For example, imagine you booked a last minute sunny vacation with peeps you love at the same time as that gym membership commitment? Or, you signed up to do some big photo shoot? I bet that would get your bum into action, right!? It’s the same for freedom. Find some kind of domino-effect that will help the rest naturally ‘fall’ into place.

For me, this ‘big domino’ is a 4Stand000 km move across Canada, from Ottawa, Ontario, to Kelowna, British Columbia. It’s a move that my partner and I are choosing as a key step in developing our own freedom and leadership, and in turn teaching this freedom to our children. If you’re curious, you can read my partner, Brad’s post on our reasons here.

3. STAND BOLDLY FOR YOUR FREEDOM

Once you have decided and committed to create your own freedom, you have to walk the path and stand boldly in it every freakin’ step of the way, every freakin’ day. I won’t lie to you: creating freedom for yourself is hard! Nelson Mandela knew this when he fought for freedom in South Africa. And there are moments when you’ll feel small, reckless and even shackled in your choice and commitment to life with freedom. You may even lose your shit, but there will be memorable moments when your heart will open up and you’ll feel taller, bolder and awesomer than you ever have because you’re standing in your commitment to create freedom for yourself, your kids and  your world.Extraordinary

4. PRACTICE FREEDOM DAILY: MODELLING FREEDOM  IS THE BEST WAY TO RAISE FREEDOM

Every day children show up to their childhood. They expect fun, play, love, adventure, and learning. You are the first teacher and leader that they look up to – now and always. You’re their role model, their ‘who’ in the world that is kicking ass and taking names. So, if one of your big hopes is to raise your kids to grow up into awesome, free-spirited, independent adults, then you have to show them what that looks like. Not once a year, but every freakin’ day.

Yes, it’s work and sometimes it’s gonna suck, BUT extraordinary things only happen to extraordinary people who choose to do extraordinary things, daily.

Remember, freedom is easier to build when you’re clear about what you want. If you’re ready to up your game and live with more personal truth, grab a copy of my free FREEDOM GUIDE for Game-Changing Parents: Reclaim your Daily Groove! and see how we can jam together to get you there sooner. And also remember,

Only you can be the freedom you want to see in your world.

“Only you can be the freedom you want to see in your world.”

 Be bold. Be extraordinary. Be free in your life. The more you choose and commit to stand in your freedom, amazing things will happen. Guaranteed!

Tell me, have you ever taken a stand for your freedom? What happened?

Anne-Sophie

 

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Anne-Sophie Dumetz is an educator, speaker and lifestyle designer who supports parents who have a big life mission to truly create the life and world they desire for themselves and their kids. Parents who want Anne-Sophie’s support can start to get it here. If you’re interested in republishing this post, please contact us here.

(Thanks for Flickr’s HappyWorker for the SuperMom picture)

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